Last week I sat in court with my husband and listened to a judge deliver the final ruling in the murder case of my step-daughter. It was just over two-months ago that we sat in the same courtroom and listened to the her murderer plead guilty. At that time, I wrote 880 Days Until Justice Will Be Served? explaining some of the details and the conditions of his plea. It made sense to me to follow-up with a post about the final outcome.
Because the person who killed Korin had accepted a plea bargain, the sentence had been partially decided already ahead of time. We knew at the minimum he’d be receiving a 20-year sentence and at the maximum, 25-years. Because there was only five years to work with, we knew there wasn’t going to be anything outrageously shocking in the judge’s sentence and we were accepting of whatever the final number would be.
I had no idea what to expect that day but figured the hearing would be relatively quick considering the guilty plea. The entire process ended up taking about 2 hours, a little longer than I anticipated. The courtroom was full of people, mostly family members, on both sides. Anyone that wanted to, had the opportunity to speak to the court prior to the sentencing. I choose not to speak but my husband and Korin’s mother both spoke on her behalf. After everyone had the opportunity to share their thoughts, her murderer chose to speak. He didn’t say much at all, simply apologized to everyone there and shared that he never intended for Korin to be killed. Without giving him too much credit I will say I appreciated his statement. I think that he could have, and should have, reached out LONG time ago but was accepting of the apology that day.
The judge’s ruling…
He took a recess, about 30 minutes, to reevaluate the case and ponder over everyone’s statements. When he returned to the courtroom he delivered his ruling… 20 years. He spent about 30 minutes explaining why and honestly I don’t remember everything he said. I do know he emphasized the potential for this person to be rehabilitated and that he was confident, if allowed the opportunity, he could turn his life around.
My reaction…
Although I’d hoped for the maximum 25 year sentence, I’m honestly indifferent at the ruling. I still hold steady my opinion that the court system has been faulty and inefficient in every aspect of this case and the case regarding my granddaughter. But it doesn’t really matter to me. What matters is that my granddaughter is given the best opportunity to be successful and happy in life and that this entire situation is handled with incredulous care. Unfortunately, I don’t think the court’s decisions that support this. But I will hold out hope and do everything in my power to support her.
When Holocaust survivor, Eli Weisel, passed away last week, I ran across one of his quotes on the computer. Although this experience is in no way comparable to his, I made an immediate connection to my attitude and opinion about the outcome of the case and Weisel’s quote.
Weisel summed up my sentiments exactly by saying that,
“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”
― Elie Wiesel
Final thoughts…
I don’t hate this person, I hate what he did. I don’t care whether he is “rehabilitated.” I don’t care if he reoffends and spends more time in prison. I don’t have to say I forgive him. I’m indifferent. He doesn’t matter to me. The only thing that DOES matter is that my granddaughter is equipped, and has the opportunity, to independently decide how and when she wants to deal with him.
So…I’m celebrating, not his sentence, but the finality of the entire case. I am grateful we didn’t have to sit through a trial. I’m thankful that I don’t ever have to see his attorneys or the judge again. I’m relieved to be DONE. I don’t really want to talk about it again, I don’t want to think about it anymore…I’m not interested or concerned, I’m indifferent. That being said, I will, at any cost, make sure we do what is in the best interest of our granddaughter. Hopefully you will not see another post about this until she is an adult.